We were married 15 years before the opportunity to move from Seattle to San Luis Obispo presented itself and I said, Yes! I was finally ready. This Connecticut Yankee, dyed-in-the-wool Mayflower descendant New Englander moved to California with her Californian husband and had two Californian kids. What had my DNA done? Launched!
It was a smooth transition to the small, coastal California town dubbed the Happiest Place on Earth. But I was still not ready for Los Angeles, and the SLO crowd isn't exactly pro-LA. So when, after 7 years on the Central Coast, we suddenly got the call that there was a job at UCLA for my husband, we were strangely drawn to city life again. Los Angeles, here we come.
So why do we feel so at home in Los Angeles? It is so surprising to us. We love it here and mostly because of the people we have met. True, it has been hard to make friends, but now that we have bridged the inconveniences of overcoming traffic snarls and cross-town rendez-vous, we have found our tribe in LA.
One surprising thing we appreciate about this town is the arty vibe. Where are the fake people portrayed on television? Maybe in Orange County? Maybe on scripted Reality TV.
The people we meet in Los Angeles are the ones who are less likely to take paths well-traveled. Many of our friends in LA are "in the business" or their partner is. This typically means they are down-to-earth people who, if they are now successful, have seen lean times when they were chasing their dreams and living on a shoestring. Typically people are humble and accessible. Not fake. Not materialistic. The flip side of that coin is that some people in the business who have seen success may now be out of work. Again, down-to-earth, accessible people happy to have a conversation about raising kids, how to spend the holidays, or how to make dreams become reality. Go for it. Dream it, achieve it. Buck the norm, but be realistic about the hard work, setbacks and politics. Lucky breaks help. These are the conversations we have.
The other thing we appreciate about this town is its international vibe. We landed in the San Fernando Valley and our friends are from all over the world. When we go to a kiddie birthday party, everyone speaks English, but there are easily 5 other languages available. People who move to another country are also willing to forego tradition and the norm. Again, dream it, achieve it. Take the good times and the bad. Be thankful for what you have, work hard, don't complain about the little stuff, celebrate good times when you have them.
We of course love the weather. Coming from Seattle - and me from New England - we do chuckle about some of the regional reaction to a temperature drop. As soon as it's Halloween, people dress the part, in tall boots, dark sweaters, scarves, even hats and mittens, despite high temperatures. When it's 67 degrees and overcast, the preschoolers are kept inside "due to weather." Lack of rain has been fun and yet distressing, environmentally. Our 5 year old did not understand how to put on a rain coat: "Do you wear a shirt under it? Really? Show me." We actually had to move out of a house we rented in Sherman Oaks because it didn't have central air. We learned. We moved to a place with a pool: a "must" in the Valley. Of course our pool is only heated in the summer months: it's 90 degrees in April and October but no one swims… Los Angeles has a sense of humor about itself - especially when it comes to weather.
People here are competitive. People are passionate. People here are expressive and colorful. Everyone fits in. I fit in. There are east coasters here and it's okay. Heck, Los Angeles has flavor.
Our son is mostly African American and we are white. While this continues to be a nation where men of color are feared by law enforcement, we appreciate that our son is growing up in a multi-cultural city. His teacher is an African American man. His friends are from all over the world and many call themselves brown. He is learning what culture is, shoulder to shoulder with other kindergarteners and friends who are also learning about their own culture, from China, Russia, Israel, Armenia, and England. For him, our son, to be African American in this country will mean something political, too, but the conversation starts here, together, about where our people come from and why.
This white girl from Connecticut who has a son with a natural afro invites dialogue about race in Los Angeles… and it's okay. The conversations are well received. There are many people in Los Angeles who want to talk about race. We are a conspicuous adoptive family and Los Angeles loves that about us. So far, this unusual city is the place for our unusual family. We are very happy here.
Los Angeles does have its share of problems.
- Housing is prohibitively expensive due to laws passed to keep high rise apartment buildings out of the city, causing sprawl and jacking up prices for low income housing.
- Traffic is notoriously bad due to laws passed to keep trains out of areas like the San Fernando Valley, preventing mass transit from helping to connect lower priced housing areas with the urban center.
- Water consumption continues along without regard for the historic drought - as people continue to water lawns, rather than adopting rock- and cactus-gardens like water conservation award winning Tucson, Arizona.
- The school district has acted with such surprising decision-making with respect to technology and public funds that the FBI has been called in.
But hey, we are not status quo group of people: lean times turn around with time and work and luck. Dream it, achieve it. Don't sweat the small stuff and celebrate along the way.
I love L.A.
